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30 Real Estate Listing Photos That CAN’T Be Real (But Are)

Via Terrible Real Estate Photos

2. State of the art kitchen designed to accommodate people with particularly fast metabolisms.

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3. Triple your bathroom efficiency!

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4. This home will inspire your inner abstract expressionism.

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5. Oh, haaay!

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6. This marvelous estate features free nightmares for life.

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7. What a lovely children’s room!

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8. Candlelit baths are sooo overrated.

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9. The positive: saves space! The negative: must wear hard hat when using the bathroom.

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10. State of the art security system!

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11. Depending on your mailman’s accuracy, your bills can automatically go right where they belong.

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12. Owner’s last words: “Bring all offers!”

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13. On a cold winter’s night, there’s nothing quite like a drawing of a log fire.

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14. Won’t last long! Considerable interest already being shown. Mostly from horses.

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15. Incontrovertible proof that no paranormal activity exists in this home.

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16. You know what? Don’t step out of frame. Just hide behind the curtain.

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17. Sorry, gravity does not convey.

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18. Yeah, THIS one. This one’s really nice.

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19. Previous buyers fell through, so submit your offer today!

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20. As you can see, this room really livens up with a rug.

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21. Liven this room up with a TV! As long as it’s a flat-screen. And you don’t mind going blind.

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22. You don’t REALLY need a dining table.

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23. At least we know the toilet works… right?

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24. It’s not weird! It’s just to block the falling paint chips from the ceiling. It’s practical.

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25. We can neither confirm or deny whether this room has ever been the subject of a crime scene investigation.

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26. Perfect room for entertaining. Makeshift confetti conveys.

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27. A room cozy enough for the most discerning monkey.

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28. Fasten your seatbelts, this home will knock your socks off.

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29. The only limit to this home’s possibility is your imagination. But first you’ll have to imagine the home.

 

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30. Bathe in luxury. Unique “jail-style” window perfectly compliments asymmetrical tile pattern and “crime scene” accenting.

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23 Faces Every Real Estate Professional Will Recognize

 1. The “Did You Really Just Apply For a Kohl’s Card 10 Days Before Closing?” face.

Via Facebook

2. The “You Picked My Brain For 2 Months, Now There’s a FSBO Sign In Your Yard” face.

Via Youtube

3. The “Client Wants a 5BR / 4BA Brick Colonial with an Inground Pool For Under $150k” face.

Via Imgur

4. The “Wait, I’m Your Realtor Not Your Therapist” face.

Via Youtube

5. The “Hope I Never Co-Broke Another Deal With You, Let’s Just Get Through This One Amicably” face.

Via Twitter

6. The “Can’t Remember the Last Time I Had a Day Off” face.

Via HNE Graphics

7. The “I’ve Shown You 30 Homes, It’s Time To Sh!t Or Get Off The Pot” face.

HBO / via giphy.com

8. The “Just Got a Full-Price Cash Offer With No Contingencies” face.

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9. The “Just Closed My First Short Sale, Before and After” faces.

Via Pinterest

10. The “Your Realtor Was in My Facebook Group Asking How To Fill Out a Sales Contract” face.

Via memegenerator.net

11. The “My Commission is Non-Negotiable” face.

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If these faces nailed it, wait until you see the cat expressions in this one:My Hectic Life As A Realtor, Perfectly Summed Up By Cats

 

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12. The “Can’t Believe My Best Friend Had the Nerve To Use Another Agent” face.

Via memecrunch.com

13. The “No I Am Not Looking Forward to the Weekend, Because I’ll Be Working Most Of It” face.

Via mandatory.com

14. The “I Soooo Need a Vacation” face.

Via Imgur

15. The “Buyer Demands I Find the ‘Perfect Home’ and THEN They’ll Get Pre-Approved” face.

Via Pinterest

16. The “Appraisal Should Be Coming In Any Day Now” face.

Via Pinterest

17. The “Home Inspection Report Came In and It’s 4 Miles Long” face.

Via Imgur

18. The “Just Got the Clear To Close” face.

Via findmemes.com

19. The “I Can’t Believe How Low This Offer Is” face.

Via amusingtime.com

20. The “Did I Just Overhear You Talking About Real Estate?” face.

Via Pinterest

21. The “Client Insists His Home is Worth $40k More Than 14 Identical Comps” face.

Via memecenter.com

22. The “Say ‘Zestimate’ One More Time” face.

Via examiner.com

23. The “I Know You’re Lying, But Continue” face.

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2260 Dawes Hill Rd. Coquitlam    V1141637

Depreciation is an important word to analyze when it comes to any real estate purchase. An example of commonly known depreciation is when you buy a new car: it is often said that you lose 20 per cent of a new car’s value the minute you drive it off the lot. Thankfully housing doesn't depreciate at anywhere near that level, but over time it can be a concern.

As a rule of thumb, the first 20 years of a condo's life should be relatively problem free as long as the builder is reputable and knows what they are doing. But after that, maintenance items do crop up and it's important the strata council has a plan to address them. The longer they wait to fix any outstanding items, generally the more it will cost.

In BC, strata councils are now required to facilitate a deprecation report for its residents, but they can avoid paying for one if there is a three-quarters vote to waive the requirement during their annual general meeting. Personally I think depreciation reports are the best consumer protection available to residents and should be embraced, but often times stratas will attempt to stick their heads in the mud and avoid the reality of the issues facing their building.

If fees are too low this can often be a warning sign that there is not enough money in the reserve contingency fund to address any major issues. If there is not enough money to pay for major issues facing the building how does it get paid for? A special assessment is when a strata gives each owner a one-off bill proportional to each unit, and it must be paid within a certain time frame. Emphasis on “must” – there is no negotiating this payment, once the decision has been made. Pay or face the penalty, and this can even include a lien on your condo.

There is no standard amount for a healthy reserve fund, but there are some decent rules of thumb that you can go by. For a wood-framed building I often recommend trying to find a condo where there is a minimum of $5,000 per unit in reserve. For example, a 40-unit building should ideally have $200,000 in the bank. For a concrete high rise building my recommendation is $10,000 per unit. It's not that there are more problems with high rise buildings, it's just that when they occur they are often more expensive to resolve. The amount needed goes up the older the building is.

Low monthly strata fees can often be an illusion of health, when in fact it's quite the opposite. It's important to recognize this and analyze it rationally. Getting hit with a special assessment out of the blue can often cripple an owner financially, I've seen them as large as $60,000. It's important to work with someone who can give you professional advice and help you make as informed decision as is humanly possible with all the information available. It's one of the most important considerations to look at when purchasing into a strata complex, so make sure you analyze all the variables and make a sound decision.

Source: Barry Magee - REW.ca

Aug 26, 2015.